Teaching Empathy to Children – Activities That Help Kids with Autism and Sensory Processing Difficulties experience and understand Empathy.

Empathy is one of the most beautiful and important life skills we can nurture in our children. It's the ability to understand and share the feelings of others - a skill that helps children form meaningful friendships, resolve conflicts, and grow into kind, emotionally intelligent adults. But for some children - especially those with autism or sensory processing difficulties - empathy doesn’t always develop in the traditional ways.

And that’s okay.

As a parent, I’ve learned that empathy looks different in different children. Some kids naturally tune in to other people’s feelings. Others need support understanding emotional cues, interpreting body language, or handling their own sensory overwhelm before they can begin to connect with others. But all children, in their own time and their own way, are capable of developing empathy.

If you're parenting a child who struggles with social cues or emotional regulation, you're not alone. The good news is that empathy can be taught and nurtured - gently, patiently, and through everyday experiences. Below, I’m sharing some of the activities and approaches that have helped in our home and have been recommended by specialists along the way.

What Does Empathy Look Like in Children?

Empathy can show up in many forms, including:

• Comforting a friend who’s upset

• Noticing when someone else is feeling left out

• Adjusting their behaviour when someone is overwhelmed

• Sharing or offering help without being asked

Some children, especially those with autism or sensory challenges, may not instinctively recognise facial expressions or body language. Others may understand feelings intellectually but struggle with emotional expression. That doesn’t mean they lack empathy - it just means we need to teach it in ways that work for them.

1. Use Visual Tools to Explore Emotions

Why it helps: Many children with autism or SPD are visual learners. Using pictures or visuals to talk about emotions can make abstract ideas more concrete and accessible.

Try this:

• Use an emotion chart with pictures of faces expressing different feelings (happy, sad, angry, frustrated, excited, etc.).

• Watch short clips from TV shows or books and pause to ask, “How do you think this character feels?”

• Play “guess the feeling” using photos or drawings of people showing emotions with their faces and body language.

Parent tip: Start with familiar feelings like “happy” or “sad,” then gradually introduce more complex ones like “embarrassed” or “disappointed.”

2. Create a Feelings Box

Why it helps: Naming and talking about our own feelings builds emotional awareness, which is the foundation of empathy.

Try this:
Decorate a small box or basket with your child and fill it with:

• Emotion cards

• A mirror (for practising facial expressions)

• Sensory tools (a squishy ball, textured fabric, or calming scent)

• A small notepad and pencil for drawing or writing feelings

Use the box during quiet time or after tricky moments to talk through feelings - yours and theirs. Say things like, “I felt frustrated earlier when things got loud. What did you feel?”

Parent tip: Model the language you want them to use. “I noticed you looked uncomfortable when the music was loud. That would feel too much for me too.”

3. Role-Playing Real-Life Situations

Why it helps: Practising social situations in a safe, playful setting helps children prepare for real-world interactions.

Try this:
Use dolls, action figures, stuffed animals, or puppets to act out common scenarios:

• A friend drops their ice cream - how can we help them feel better?

• Someone is sitting alone at lunch - what could we do?

• A toy gets broken - how can we express feeling sad or say sorry?

Parent tip: Keep it light and fun, especially if your child gets anxious with direct teaching. Let them take the lead in the role play - it helps them feel more confident and in control.

4. Practice “Perspective Taking” Through Story Time

Why it helps: Books are an excellent way to walk in someone else’s shoes and explore emotions at a safe distance.

Try this:
When reading stories together, pause and ask questions like:

• “Why do you think that character did that?”

• “How would you feel if that happened to you?”

• “What could someone do to help them feel better?”

Great empathy-focused books to try:

• The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig

• Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud

• All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold

• The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

Parent tip: If your child struggles with imagination or abstract thinking, keep questions simple and directly connected to the text or illustrations.

5. Encourage Helping and Kindness in Everyday Life

Why it helps: Empathy is built through experience - especially when children feel how good it is to help someone else.

Try this:

• Give your child small helping tasks: holding the door for someone, feeding a pet, helping you sort laundry.

• Praise acts of kindness: “It was so thoughtful when you gave your sister a cuddle when she was sad.”

• Notice kindness in others: “That friend shared her snack with you - how did that feel?”

Parent tip: Keep your expectations realistic. Don’t expect big emotional responses - sometimes just noticing is enough.

6. Use Sensory Play to Talk About Feelings

Why it helps: Children with sensory processing needs often feel safer and more regulated during sensory play, making it a great time to explore emotions.

Try this:

• Use playdough to model “happy,” “sad,” or “angry” faces.

• Let them draw their “emotion of the day” in shaving foam, sand, or a salt tray.

• Create a calm-down sensory bottle together and talk about how it helps when they feel overwhelmed.

Parent tip: Empathy starts with self-awareness. When children learn to recognise and soothe their own feelings, they’re better able to relate to others.

7. Model Empathy in Everyday Moments

Why it helps: Children learn most from what they see us do. When we show empathy, they’re more likely to mirror it.

Try this:

• Talk aloud when you respond to someone’s feelings: “Our neighbour looked sad today - I’m going to check if she’s okay.”

• Validate your child’s emotions before correcting behaviour: “I see you’re really upset. Let’s figure this out together.”

• Say sorry when you make a mistake - it shows humility and the value of repair.

Parent tip: Empathy starts at home. When our children feel understood and accepted, they are more likely to show that same kindness to others.

A Final Thought – Progress, Not Perfection

If empathy isn’t coming naturally to your child right now, please don’t panic. Empathy is a skill - one that develops over time, and sometimes later for children with autism or SPD. Your child is not unkind. They are still learning, and you are helping them in the most powerful way: with love, patience, and understanding.

Celebrate the small wins: a hug for a sibling, a quiet “Are you okay?”, or even just the willingness to listen. Empathy can be quiet. It can grow slowly. But it can grow.

And you are doing a beautiful job in helping it take root.

Empathy Activities Checklist for Kids

A gentle, visual guide to growing kindness, emotional awareness, and connection
Perfect for visual learners, autistic children, and kids with sensory needs

Understanding Feelings

Talk about today’s feelings using a mood chart
Match emotion faces with names (happy, sad, angry, calm)
Point to pictures in a book and guess how the characters feel
Look in the mirror and practise making different emotion faces

Talking About Others

Ask, “How do you think they feel?” while reading a story
Watch a show and pause to discuss what a character might be thinking
Talk about how a friend or sibling might feel in a situation
Use simple sentences like, “That would feel ___ if it happened to me”

Role-Playing and Pretend Play

Act out kind/helpful behaviours with toys or puppets
Pretend to help a friend who’s sad, scared, or hurt
Practise saying kind phrases: “Are you okay?” “Do you want to play?”
Take turns being the helper or the one who needs help

Kindness in Everyday Life

Help a sibling or friend with a small task
Give someone a hug, smile, or kind word today
Say “thank you” or “I’m sorry” when appropriate
Make a card, drawing, or note to cheer someone up

Feelings Through Play

Use playdough or drawing to make feeling faces
Use colours to express moods (blue = calm, red = angry, etc.)
Play with a sensory bottle or calm jar to feel better after big emotions
Use texture play (sand, water, foam) to describe how feelings feel

Model and Reflect

Watch a parent model empathy: “She looks upset, let’s help her”
Reflect together after tough moments: “What did we feel?”
Praise kindness when you see it: “That was really caring of you”
Talk about what you feel too - it helps kids feel safe to share

Celebrate Small Wins

Empathy isn’t always about words - it can be shown through a soft voice, gentle hands, waiting your turn, or even sitting beside someone quietly. Use stickers, stars, or simply kind words to celebrate moments of connection.